By
Partner, Next Step Partners
Originally published by Harvard Business Review – co-authored by Rebecca Horan and Melissa Karz.
As a leader, you’ve likely accumulated a small circle of trusted advisors who’ve been there for you from the start—former bosses, early investors, mentors, peers, and even family—and whose advice helped shape your career or company. These relationships often form the backbone of your decision-making and provide stability in moments of uncertainty.
But these familiar and trusted voices, while well intentioned, can inadvertently slow your momentum. They may not recognize the complexity, pace, or possibilities of running a business today. They may not be equipped to help you navigate current technological advancements, geopolitical volatility, or shifting social and economic forces.
As an executive coach (Melissa) and a brand strategy consultant (Rebecca), we’ve seen many leaders receive advice from their inner circle that no longer fits their context. Here’s how to assess whether your trusted advisors are still serving your needs and move forward.
We’ve observed four common reasons:
They “knew you when” and still see you through the same lens, failing to recognize the leader you’ve become and the ambitions you now hold.
For example, Mark, a strategy client of Rebecca’s, was energized to launch a bold new brand for his design firm until a trusted industry peer nearly derailed it. The peer, who’d worked with Mark more than a decade earlier, didn’t think the brand represented the person she remembered and discouraged him from moving forward.
Ultimately, Mark realized she didn’t fully understand what he was building: a corporate brand designed to represent a growing team and a new level of ambition aligned with his future, not limited by his past. In running decisions by her, he’d been unknowingly compromising his momentum.
Sometimes the issue is that your advisor’s career and worldview were shaped in a very different kind of organizational culture—one that doesn’t reflect the speed, structure, or expectations of your current role.
One VP Melissa worked with kept leaning on advice from a mentor who had built their career in a slower, more hierarchical environment. That “wait your turn, avoid making waves” style of guidance clashed with the fast-paced, high-visibility culture of her current company, leaving her hesitant to step into new and different opportunities.
In other cases, advisors haven’t kept up with emerging technologies, new business models, or the geopolitical forces shaping your market.
Another client of Melissa’s started to question his “go-to” industry veteran when he realized his playbook was rooted in a pre-digital era, ignoring forces like AI, social platforms, supply-chain volatility and distributed workforces. The strategies the advisor provided were too linear and too slow for the real-time decisions and complexity his role demanded.
Out of genuine care and concern, they steer you toward safety, when bolder moves and riskier leaps may be more what your business demands.
Brenda, a CEO Melissa coached, relied heavily on a longtime board member who consistently recommended a “wait-and-see” approach in moments of uncertainty. Brenda realized that in calmer markets, that cautious approach served her well. But in today’s climate—where competitors pivot in days, not months—the delay meant lost market share.
Consciously or unconsciously, they resist changes that could make their role—or their advice—less relevant.
Rebecca’s client Michelle had spent her career in corporate communications for consumer goods. Her former boss, who’d become an informal advisor, guided her through multiple roles and eventually encouraged her to launch her own consultancy in the same space.
But when Michelle shared her plans to pivot into advising AI startups, her advisor’s response was tepid and dismissive. Michelle believed her advisor’s skepticism was less about the merit of this new direction and more about feeling left behind. The pivot would shift Michelle into a new and rapidly changing environment, making their shared knowledge and history less relevant, and threatening their comfortable dynamic.
The signs that you’ve outgrown an advisor aren’t always immediate or obvious. Often, they show up as a subtle frustration or hesitation—a sense that the conversations aren’t moving you forward.
When that quiet sense of misalignment doesn’t fade—or when you realize you’re consistently missing opportunities because your advisors are steering you toward the familiar rather than the future—it’s an important signal. That’s the moment to pause and reassess and take deliberate action.
The following questions can help you evaluate whether your current advisors are serving your needs:
Once you’ve recognized that a trusted advisor’s guidance is no longer aligned with your context or goals, consider these three paths forward.
If you still value your advisor’s feedback in certain areas, but not as a primary sounding board, rethink how you engage with them. It may be time to start trusting your own intuition on matters where their guidance has previously left you feeling disappointed, discouraged, or stifled. Consult them selectively, only in areas where their advice still proves useful.
Rebecca’s client Mark realized that though he still valued his peer’s input on industry trends, he didn’t need to consult her on matters specific to his firm’s brand or direction. They continued to check in with each other to compare notes on design trends, staffing concerns, and their respective career trajectories, but he no longer sought her advice on how to position his business.
If you decide a full transition is the right move, approach the separation with clarity and generosity. Breaking up with a mentor doesn’t have to be dramatic or fraught—it can be a natural evolution.
Start by acknowledging the role they played in earlier chapters of your career and how their guidance has contributed to your growth. Then, be honest about what’s shifting for you, such as your context, your pace, your goals, or simply the kind of input you need going forward. You don’t need to justify your decision or list any shortcomings. Express sincere gratitude and let them know that you’re reshaping your advisory circle to meet the demands of this next phase. Genuine warmth and respect will help preserve the relationship while honoring their contribution.
In Brenda’s case, a frank conversation with the risk-averse board member meant acknowledging what had changed. Brenda shared that the speed and uncertainty of her current environment required a different kind of counsel. Her board member revealed that he’d no longer felt comfortable advising in such a high-speed environment and was considering returning to a more stable industry. Instead of a difficult break, the conversation became a respectful recalibration and relieved them both of an obligation they’d been feeling toward one another.
Whether or not you part ways with an advisor, you can build a more dynamic and effective inner circle for your next chapter by drawing on diverse perspectives and ensuring you never lean too heavily on a single voice. Start with one, or layer them to suit your needs:
Cultivate an inner circle of a handful of people who deeply understand your leadership and have your long-term growth in mind. Ideally, they’ve seen you under pressure and aren’t attached to a prior version of you. Their purpose is to give you unfiltered feedback, help you notice your blind spots, and serve as your values compass.
Build an expert bench of specialists in areas you’ll need to navigate your next chapter: industry disruptors, functional experts, or operators in adjacent sectors. Consider individuals who can stretch you in areas like AI integration, M&A in your sector, or scaling your culture globally. These are people who can provide you with targeted insight and help you see around corners. They face the same technological and geopolitical changes as you right now, so make the relationship a win-win by bringing them insights from your world as well as extracting value from theirs.
Include fresh perspectives from leaders outside your industry or generation who will challenge your assumptions and push your thinking in unexpected directions. It’s easy to get trapped in industry echo chambers, especially in tumultuous times. Engaging with people who think differently—whether creatives, academics, founders, policy leaders or younger disruptors—around emerging trends and shifts will help you avoid strategic myopia and expand your frame of reference.
The trusted voices who helped get you here deserve respect and gratitude. But your next phase of leadership may call for different guidance. Recognizing that isn’t a betrayal; it’s growth. Evolve your inner circle intentionally, so the perspectives shaping your decisions can keep pace with the complexity you’re navigating.